For our April Villager highlight, we're talking to Julia Maroun, a school psychologist and mom, who shares a compassionate look at what children are carrying through the school day, and how we can meet them with more understanding when they return home. From rethinking how we ask about their day to creating simple, steady rhythms that help them reset, we hope this conversation invites you to see after-school time through a different lens, one rooted in connection, safety, and trust. Thank you, Julia!
What do you wish more families understood about school today?
School today asks a lot of kids. In most schools academic demands start earlier, social expectations are complex, there’s less unstructured time, sitting for extended periods, following directions, inhibiting impulses, managing peer interactions, and suppressing emotions. That’s a lot of internal control. Many students are working incredibly hard just to keep it together all day. After-school time is one of the hardest parts of the day for families. Kids are dysregulated, parents are tired, and everyone’s needs are colliding. You don’t have to get it perfect. What matters most is that your child feels safe, supported, and accepted.
How can you ask about their day without it feeling like an interrogation?
One of the biggest shifts I encourage parents to make is moving from “questioning” to “connecting.” After a full school day, many kids are mentally and socially exhausted. When they hear rapid-fire questions like “What did you do? Who did you play with? Did you finish your work?” it can feel like pressure, even if the intention is loving. Instead, try: Side-by-side conversation (in the car, on a walk, during snack, while playing with them):
- “What was something kind someone did today?”
- “What made you laugh?”
- “What was the easiest part of your day?”
- “What felt tricky?”
- “Who did you sit with today?”
Also, be open and share something small about your own day. It models openness.
What are some ways to help kids settle after school and release that busy energy?
Think of after school as a transition period. Here are a few helpful strategies and a simple rhythm to follow:
- Snack + downtime
- Movement (outside time, jumping, biking, swinging)
- Quiet options (drawing, building, reading)
Consistency matters more than perfection. Kids feel safer and behave better when they know what to expect.
How can you know if it’s just after-school overwhelm, or something more?
It’s completely normal for kids to be irritable, tired, and less talkative right after school. But you might want to look a little closer if you notice ongoing avoidance of school topics, frequent physical complaints (stomachaches, headaches), big emotional reactions that don’t settle with time, changes in sleep, appetite, or mood and statements about feeling unsafe, lonely, or “bad at everything.” Also important to note: Some kids hold it together all day and release at home. That doesn’t mean home is the problem, it means home is where they feel safe.
Why do movement and play matter so much after school?
One of the biggest shifts in childhood over the past couple of decades is that kids are moving less and being asked to do more. School days are longer, academic demands start earlier, screen time has increased, and unstructured play has decreased. At the same time, we’re seeing rising rates of anxiety, attention difficulties, and emotional dysregulation in children. That’s not a coincidence. Movement and play aren’t just extras, they are essential for healthy brain development. When kids move, there’s actually a lot going on beneath the surface. They’re not just getting energy out, they’re helping their bodies regulate.
Movement is one of the most effective ways to release built-up stress and bring the nervous system back to a more balanced place. It also supports learning in really important ways. When children are active, they’re increasing blood flow and oxygen to the brain, which helps with focus, memory, and problem-solving. And through play, especially imaginative play or games with simple rules, they’re building skills like flexibility, planning, and self-control. That’s what we call executive functioning, and it develops best through experience, not pressure.
I also remind parents that movement is often how kids process emotions. It can be much more effective than asking them to talk things through right away. Through play, you’ll see kids working through social dynamics, trying on different roles, building creativity, and learning how to handle small challenges. They’re also developing language and communication in a really natural way. And just as important, play is where kids experience joy, which is a protective factor for mental health!
A heartfelt thank you to Julia for bringing such clarity and compassion to this conversation. It’s a meaningful reminder that so much of what we see after school is simply children finding their way back to themselves. There’s no perfect way to navigate these moments. But when children feel safe, seen, and supported, they have what they need. Thank you for being here, and for the care you bring to your family, your community, and the wider world! We're all in this together!
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