How to Handle Temper Tantrums Without Losing Your Cool

How to Handle Temper Tantrums Without Losing Your Cool

Sarah answers a viewer questions about temper tantrums: how to prevent them and how to handle them once they occur without losing your cool. Thank you to our customer Susan, for giving us this week's topic!

Sarah's Best Tips for Preventing Meltdowns

- Limit the amount of toys that are out to play with. An overwhelming amount of toys can overstimulate a young child which can lead to a tantrum.

- The night before school, let children lay out their own outfits to help the morning go more smoothly.

- Toddlers don't yet have the words to express their emotions. Rather than say, "Use your words" instead stay calm and let your child know that Mom or Dad are in control.

- Holding onto your child tightly as the feeling subsides can help. Or wait until the tantrum has started to calm and acknowledge that your child has been heard.

- Tell them what you observed and ask them about their feelings. The less emotions you show, the quicker the tantrum will be over.

Remember that toddlers are little people with big feelings! Tantrums happen. Try to plan your day so there is time for your child to rest and have quiet time. Plan the rhythm of your day with outbreaths and inbreaths.

For parents of toddlers, Sarah recommends the book "1,2,3...The Toddler Years".

What are your best tips for preventing a tantrum at home? We'd love to hear!

1 comment

  • EMily

    🌸 Hi Sarah,

    I enjoyed this topic you covered on tantrums very much, thank you!

    🌸 I wanted to recommend that parents consider getting a pair of Bongers Massage tools, which are handheld & originally from the East.
    When your child is at the beginning middle or end of a tantrum you can offer your child a mini Bonger massage (3 min. or longer).
    Have your child lie on their tummy on a soft cotton cloth, rug etc. & very gently massage their back by smoothing out their body with your hands very lightly and then using the Bongers, massaging very lightly down the spine and shoulders and legs, bottoms of their feet & their hands.
    Then end the mini massage w/ again smoothing out their whole body with your hands and adding the pitter-patter of raindrops with your finger tips lightly touching their whole body (which they really like ) !
    Then, scoop them into your lap and give them a hug, many kisses over their face and then we say our usual phrase: “let’s erase the chalkboard of life and start over.” Then ask: “is there anything you’d like to do now, do you want to just relax and read a book or go outside for a walk or to play ?
    (All children, adults & pets too ~ love bonger massages ! Available online).

    🌸 Parents also have the job of being “sleuths” with their children. staying one step ahead, “charting occurrences” and observing what’s going on, when a pattern is developing.
    By that I mean: for example, if you find that your child is having a tantrum during or after visiting friends and having sweets etc. that they normally don’t have then, there’s a good chance it’s a reaction to the amount, the quality , if there’s any dyes in the treats, etc.
    If that’s the case, continue to visit with friends but plan ahead & pack a little treat & beverage in a lunchbox for your child and make it special ~ have things frozen in the freezer like healthy homemade, blueberry muffins or cookies, so that when you need to visit w/ friends, on the spur the moment, your child could also have something special to eat without the upheaval of a “reaction“ induced tantrum.

    🌸 Using “The Yin & Yang Philosophy”,
    we make cut-out vegies and naturally brine them into pickles with our children, so after having sweets (yin), we end it with a couple carrot pickle stars, (Yang), for balance.

    🌸 There’s a saying: “ If your child is crying a lot with tantrums, there’s a good chance they’re Yin Tears.”
    Which means, when there’s “too much” Yin sweets: (sugar, candy, fruits & juice ,etc.), in the child’s diet,
    it produces an abundance of liquid in their body and consequently, emotional teary tantrums.

    🌸 For more info on creating balance,
    please see the wonderful books:
    1). “The Self-Healing Cookbook” by Kristina Turner,
    2). “ Healing With Whole Foods” by Paul Pitchford.

    🌸 Wishing You & your Readers an early, sunny 🌟 Spring !
    ~ Emily

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